Went to NY this weekend to see Tin’s and Rob’s new house. Andy came along with me as well, to meet some of the Santan kids and to get a head start on the Philippines trip come August.

Highlights? Wows’s blonde moments. White Castle. Card games. Good times.

I’m back!

I’m currently going through a semi crisis that I’m not going to elaborate on. But, hopefully things will get better soon.

In the mean time, I’ve been trying to work out steadily. Last week, I started biking with two guys at work, one of them training for Mt. Washington (should’ve seen the red flags!), and I couldn’t keep up with them, even when we were only on paved trails. That was a wake-up call for me. With frisbee season coming up, I have to get semi in-shape.

So, at the gym at work, I go for 15 minutes brisk walking on the treadmill, with a goal to start running at some point, and then I use the rowing machine. In between, I try to bike the short hill near my apartment or bring my bike in to work so that I can ride at lunch. Today though, I had to bring my bike in just because I was borrowing an air pump from a friend. I figured, it’s a nice day, I should just bike in to work. I’ve been saying that since last year, but I never did it. Well, guess what? Today I finally did it, and I was sweating like a pig with jello legs when I got into work today. And it’s March! It was tough for me out there. But I’ll do it more often now so that hopefully it’ll start getting much easier.

Tomorrow, I’m probably hiking Mt. Wantastiquet after work with some friends. Yay to beautiful days.

Thanks to Daisy and Lyds and Casey for having me over for breakfast last Sunday!

Here are the pictures…

I went home at 6:40 today, one of the latest times I’ve ever stayed at work. I was just coding too, even though I had set myself up to start reading and preparing for a meeting I’m involved in Thursday-Saturday. The pressures of being the only only engineer in the team, a girl at that, and one of the persons who’s sort of influenced the project (for which the meeting is for), are driving my stress levels through the roof. To top it off, I’m supposed to have the background for it considering my work with Prof. Tarasewich in grad school.

I’ve always been told I have unmet potential. As examples, I was classifed as an underachiever in high school (with the worst study habits in my class - out of 180, to boot). By my sophomore year, I was supposed to be preparing for the national musical competition (for the violin), which I should have been ready for by the time I reached my senior year. After graduation, I would’ve been given a teaching position at the College of Computer Science if I had given up my full time research job. And so on.

It’s really nice to have that potential, especially when that potential becomes your fallback. I didn’t get that A in Algorithms because I didn’t have time to study enough and I still adjusting from the move from home to Boston. I forget that even with the book wide open next to me, I’d still have no clue how to do proving. NP-completeness? Dude, forget it.

How about that failed final in undergrad Calculus? Oh, the teacher was horrible. The fact that only 8 students passed in a class of 35 proves that. But you know what, I should’ve been one of those 8. True, I had trouble understanding it, but I should’ve compensated for it by studying more.

Teaching? I have the patience of a 5 year old and the communication skills of an 8-year old. My little sister Katie, she can explain things better than I can.

But so it is for me, all the time. I always fail to follow through. I don’t think I have as much potential as some people think, but I do know that I’m capable of doing better the things that I’m already capable of doing now. Except I’m always failing with the follow throughs. And time management? It is my nemesis.

Potential? Maybe. The drive to meet that potential? Nope. I seem to have lost my ambition in the process. Patience? Had it 10 years ago. Bottom line? Nothing really. I’m tired and should be getting some sleep.

Stress contributes to the aging process.