So my mom censored my blog. She called me long distance telling me to delete my last post. I kept it, but reworded it. So if you missed that, too bad, it’s not coming back up.

Anyway, I wanted to make it clear that my intentions were to say how frustrated I am with my work technically. The company is great and the people I work with are great. In fact, I had just come home from dinner with the girls tonight. It’s nice to be part of a group. It’s been a while since I had a bunch of girl friends too, so that’s fun.

Going back to the censorship, I was going to argue that my blog is completely anonymous. I’ve never mentioned my company or my name. But then, I forgot, my name is on the url. Rats. Maybe I should move to Blogger and really be completely anonymous then. Well, maybe in a few months or in a year or something. I have 1on1 for free for another year anyway.

So, until then, I’m going to be nice, not that I was bad before anyway. I was just really frustrated with what I was trying to fix. All the technical stuff I said about debugging is private stuff that I can’t disclose. Those are things that ANY programmer can come across. I only wish I had an answer to share too, but like most of the hits I got on Google and Google Groups, I only have questions. Oh well. If someone ever gets to read what I wrote and has a clue, leave me a comment.

It’s freezing outside and inside my apartment. Stupid storm window is stuck so the draft that was usually refreshing to me, is making my living room a freezer. I haven’t taken off my tank top, my turtle neck, and the flannel jammies I put over them. I’m still freezing. Brrr!!!!

I got invited to 2 dinner parties tonight! I think it could’ve been 3, actually! When Francie found out that my mom had left already and that I was having to adjust to an empty apartment, she invited me over to paint after dinner. Later on though, she said she had talked to her husband and told me to come over for dinner as well. So I did! And I had a lovely time.

Katie, one of the younger employees at the company, also stopped by to say hello in the afternoon. She too, invited me over for dinner! As with most younger people’s parties, theirs was starting at 8-9. So I told her I’d come over after I get home from Francie’s. Well, I stayed a little too long at Francie’s so I got home at 10. I might’ve still gone if it wasn’t so freezing cold outside. It would’ve been fun, but we’re going to be having one of those young-adults dinners on Wednesday anyway, so I didn’t push it.

Oh yeah, the 3rd probable-invite, MM, my teammate was also asking me about my mom. Jokingly, I said, no more dinners for me when I get home. Then, he asked me what I was doing for dinner. His family had asked me before, so maybe, he considered inviting me over to have dinner with them too.

So, now you see that it’s not just popularity that can get you places. Pity can achieve the same things given the right circumstances.

I love Yakult!!! I used to have it when I was young, and I saw it at Super 88 today and bought a 5-pack. I would’ve bought 5 5-packs, but they’re worth $3 each! Well anyway, Yakult is amazing! They’re so much better than the junk Kefir I try to drink every day. It’s really good for you too! I remember a jingle they had way back when about how it has live Lactobacilli shirota strain. All right! If anybody finds a cheaper way to get yakult, please, let me know! Woo!

So I’m all alone again. It’s tough coming home to nothing and nobody after being with family for a little over a month. It wasn’t really easy for me being with my mom in the beginning. I had become like an old maid, set in my ways. So, it took me a while to get used to my mom’s presence. Of course, now, it’s just become quite depressing without her or my family.

The best week was when we were all here - with my sister, and my dad, and my mom. It was fun to just be at home watching tv or reading or eating or doing nothing. Too bad I had to work throughout the week. Of course, I took advantage of my boss not being there, and most of my work done, so I went home early a few times. Still, we could’ve had a few trips if I had days off to take.

Aside from my family, I’m going to miss my ready dinners (with meat, and veggies, and soup!), and my morning coffee, and desserts that I can, but don’t have to eat. Maybe I won’t miss the almost daily trips to the Shaw’s or Hannaford’s though.

I was crying during the drive up, which wasn’t very smart of me, being on the road and all, but I always kept one eye open, so it wasn’t too bad. The last time I cried that much was before I wrote this. When I got home, I started crying again after I opened the door. I took down everything I was carrying, which was a lot, and untied my boots. I had been bent over (to untie my boots) for a few seconds, while crying, then as I was stretching up, I took a look at myself in the mirror and I looked so horrible that just had to laugh at myself.

My tv’s back up, so it’ll be back to normal soon. Still, it’s nice to know my family still matters as much to me as it ever has. Thanks for the visit!

That’s the name of the group I’m involved in at work. It was actually formed with me in mind! Woo! I’m special! During my first few days I kept asking my boss about things to do here - hiking, biking, who’s doing what, etc. Being the nice person that he is, he got pretty concerned ang got me a ton of information not otherwise available to me like contacts, listings, and volunteer organizations. Through that, I was able to get contacts for painting lessons and be involved in the Pumpkin Festival .

Now we’re setting up an information database about ‘The World Outside’ the company, hence the name. There’s going to be contacts for every listed interests in sports, lessons and courses, hobbies, etc. There are also company affiliated groups - like the ski team, softball team, etc., as well as external groups, and volunteer agencies. Also, for every new employee that goes through orientation, there’s going to be a rep from the group to go over what we have which should help him/her transition to the new place.

The best though, is I was able to get to know other young people within the company. I’m going out to dinner with a bunch of them next week. Yay! And from the information we gathered, Keene doesn’t seem so bad after all. Seriously!

The bad? Well, my boss was following up on the progress of the singles-group. Man! I don’t want to be in a singles group. I prefer our nifty name, thank you.

Ever since I saw the first few episodes of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (QEFSG), I’ve always wanted to Fab Five to come and do me over. I like their objective of making the most of what you have and enhancing your natural beauty instead of making something up artificially.

Anyway, I guess a lot of girls felt the same way I did. So Bravo, building on the success of QEFSG, they now have QEFSGirl, with 4 gay guys and 1 lesbian lady. Instead of basing it in New York, they have it in Los Angeles. I should’ve seen the red flag from that alone, but unfortunately, I didn’t find out they were based in LA until the end of the show. Well, that and I really wanted it to be good.

Well, it really wasn’t. It has none of the heart and sincerity that is apparent with the original Fab Five. They made my mom cry at the end of the episode last night with the wedding. They would’ve probably made me cry too if I wasn’t using my computer.

I remember thinking, well, she looks as if she just dressed up and made herself up, like most girls do when they go out. She already knew how to put on make up. Okay, so she didn’t have color in her wardrobe and she didn’t have the hot curlers. She didn’t have to be on national television for that. Sure, she was messy too, but anybody could’ve told her that as well.

Oh yeah, the gay guys on the new show didn’t make a good impression on me either. It felt as if they were trying too hard. Well, I guess it’s hard to live up to the Fab Five, so I should give them credit for that too. Still.

I’ll still keep hoping that someday the Fab Five can work on me, or on my somebody, whoever that is. Then I can be the girl they gush over and say, “Aww, he’s so lucky to have her”.

I had been planning to watch Keane in Boston on the 5th ever since TB told me Keane was having a series of concerts here. So I asked CB and DC if they wanted to come along too. Last week they said they might, and last Sunday, when I got their final decisions, I instantly went online to get the tickets. But alas, there were no tickets to be found!

I thought of buying one ticket, four times, so we’d all get to watch even though we’re not sitting together. But they didn’t sound too interested after that. Then CB brought up this BRILLIANT idea me throwing a fake Keane concert!

So, we’re going to have a party, playing songs from Keane, with awesome food, and hopefully some interesting people. I don’t know that many young people from my area, but I might get a few to come.

The best thing is, both DC and CB are coming up early (afternoon-ish) so that we can cook together! That’ll be the best. I can’t wait!